no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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