she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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