i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
