Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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