yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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