Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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