there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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