non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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