So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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