His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize