I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
