fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize