Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
time to smoke my breakfast
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
