Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
