I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
