ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
