we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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