It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
