There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
