The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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