i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
