and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
