somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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