im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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