The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
