I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
