I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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