Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize