im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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