He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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