dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
