shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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