Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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