Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
