hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
