it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
