Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
