If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize