I hope mine doesn't look like that
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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