Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
