Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
