Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize