i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
