oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
