i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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