with your own penis?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
