also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
