She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So much rum. So many feels.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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