Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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