Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
