I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
