I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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