You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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