We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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