Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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