32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
