I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
