you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize