She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
