I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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