The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
