Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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