I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
