i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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