In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
