She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Im part way to drunk.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
