some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize